My daughter turned 16 yesterday.
I'm still looking for anything that is sweet about it. My baby now wears more makeup than I do (I don't wear any), dresses in clothes that I will never again fit into, and talks to me like she is my Mother.
Just last week she started kindergarten, now she has half the boys in town fawning over her, I can't keep her home to save my (or her) life, no matter how much I want to spend time with her.
My son turned 18 last month, two milestone birthdays in one year is hard to deal with. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my baby boy is an adult now.
Sorry, I just realized how depressed I am.
I also realized as I was typing this that she was coming in to tell me she was going down to her BF's house, then to town and would be back by ten. I minimized the screen but I cant seem to stop the tears from falling and even in this dark room she saw; she stopped and hugged me and said she wouldn't go, while wiping a tear away. I told her it wasn't her fault, to go on, I will be fine.
She argued with me, I told her to go on. She went. They always go.
Hopefully, they will keep coming back.
I have to go start some laundry, work tomorrow, thanks for listening...
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
No Show...
When I bought this ewe, I was not aware she was a food processor.
Well not any more than the rest of the sheep anyway.
I subsequently found out that they call this type of sheep a frame type, usually shown blocked or fitted. She is long and lanky (beautiful, yes) but if not fed copious amounts of food will grow out of her skin. In other words, if you don't feed them a lot of grain, they will continue to grow, but they get bony. This is a new one for us. I think we do have another ewe, a suffolk ewe, that is like this, but it just occurred to me that this might be why she has been a 'hard keeper' as well.
We sheared Angel last night, I was hoping that we could block her back up, but having never done that before, it just didn't happen. By the time I got out there to see what was happening, Jari had her half slicked, and I knew she wouldn't be showing today. She is well covered all over except for her hips. I don't think I have ever seen a sheep loose cover in her hips and not in her back. She is still beautiful, just not up to show weight, so Angel will be staying home today, and will be fed like a horse until the Humboldt Co Livestock Show and Sale in Winnemucca over Labor Day.
Speaking of the Humboldt show, as out of towners (we live in Lander Co) in order for our kids to show in the market class and sell their animals at the auction, each of our kids have to bring to the sale a pre-signed bid. Every year the committee lets us know what the minimum bid is (based on the average sale price from the year before) and the kids (read parents of the kids usually) find someone who is generous enough to sign a piece of paper saying they will pay this minimum amount per pound live weight for this child's market animal. This year, the minimum bid for a lamb is $4.53. Think about that. The lamb has to weigh in between 105 and 140 lbs. That is a chunk of change.
I went to school with a very nice guy who is now the owner of Lander Co Physical Therapy, and he has signed Jari's bid for the last four years. He has been outbid every year. He is OK with that, he doesn't even eat lamb (although he wont out and tell me that), in spite of his Basque heritage. And he knows that one day he won't get out bid, so why does he sign the bid? I have told him before when he half jokingly raised his eyebrows at what seems like a huge amount of money to pay for 50 to 60 lbs of lamb in your freezer, "You're not bidding on a lamb, your bidding on a childs future."
I guess where I am going with this, I don't know how many people Jari and I and other 4-H kids in the past few years have approached about signing a pre bid, all of them affluent people in our community, that have said something to the affect of "wow, that is a lot of money, I dont think I can do that". Now granted I dont know what their situation is, I dont know what is going on in their bank accounts, but common folks! This is tax deductable! If you pay $700 for a lamb, you can deduct anything over the current market price of lamb, which right now (and for the last few years) has been about $125!
So, if you can, if you have the means and you have never done it before, even if you don't eat lamb! Support a 4-Her or an FFAer. These kids do work hard on their projects, they put a lot of effort into getting the right animal and making it show ready.
Jumping of my box now...
Well not any more than the rest of the sheep anyway.
I subsequently found out that they call this type of sheep a frame type, usually shown blocked or fitted. She is long and lanky (beautiful, yes) but if not fed copious amounts of food will grow out of her skin. In other words, if you don't feed them a lot of grain, they will continue to grow, but they get bony. This is a new one for us. I think we do have another ewe, a suffolk ewe, that is like this, but it just occurred to me that this might be why she has been a 'hard keeper' as well.
We sheared Angel last night, I was hoping that we could block her back up, but having never done that before, it just didn't happen. By the time I got out there to see what was happening, Jari had her half slicked, and I knew she wouldn't be showing today. She is well covered all over except for her hips. I don't think I have ever seen a sheep loose cover in her hips and not in her back. She is still beautiful, just not up to show weight, so Angel will be staying home today, and will be fed like a horse until the Humboldt Co Livestock Show and Sale in Winnemucca over Labor Day.
Speaking of the Humboldt show, as out of towners (we live in Lander Co) in order for our kids to show in the market class and sell their animals at the auction, each of our kids have to bring to the sale a pre-signed bid. Every year the committee lets us know what the minimum bid is (based on the average sale price from the year before) and the kids (read parents of the kids usually) find someone who is generous enough to sign a piece of paper saying they will pay this minimum amount per pound live weight for this child's market animal. This year, the minimum bid for a lamb is $4.53. Think about that. The lamb has to weigh in between 105 and 140 lbs. That is a chunk of change.
I went to school with a very nice guy who is now the owner of Lander Co Physical Therapy, and he has signed Jari's bid for the last four years. He has been outbid every year. He is OK with that, he doesn't even eat lamb (although he wont out and tell me that), in spite of his Basque heritage. And he knows that one day he won't get out bid, so why does he sign the bid? I have told him before when he half jokingly raised his eyebrows at what seems like a huge amount of money to pay for 50 to 60 lbs of lamb in your freezer, "You're not bidding on a lamb, your bidding on a childs future."
I guess where I am going with this, I don't know how many people Jari and I and other 4-H kids in the past few years have approached about signing a pre bid, all of them affluent people in our community, that have said something to the affect of "wow, that is a lot of money, I dont think I can do that". Now granted I dont know what their situation is, I dont know what is going on in their bank accounts, but common folks! This is tax deductable! If you pay $700 for a lamb, you can deduct anything over the current market price of lamb, which right now (and for the last few years) has been about $125!
So, if you can, if you have the means and you have never done it before, even if you don't eat lamb! Support a 4-Her or an FFAer. These kids do work hard on their projects, they put a lot of effort into getting the right animal and making it show ready.
Jumping of my box now...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Rain! ...And other not so happy stuff...
It has been months! Woke up yesterday morning to a clean desert, the smell of sage permeated the air! Those are the kinds of rains I like; you go to bed, and when you wake up the rain has come, done its job and left behind a renewed landscape. And you don't have to walk in the rain to get to your vehicle! These types of rains are few and far between, but it happened again this morning! I love it! If Mother Nature would do this every night, I would think I had gone to heaven! I enjoyed the sweet smell of washed sage all the way to work! Of course to all good there is the bad to level it out, there were three tornadoes spotted yesterday through central Nevada I believe in Churchill County, none touched down, but the flooding that comes with these spurts of heavy rain and hail can sometimes be destructive. Then there is the lighting, we had a couple fires start yesterday, but the rain took care of them for the most part.
On another note, my central air/heat system is outta whack. The coil is plugged with bug dust (not sure if anyone outside of Nevada knows what that is :) and it will cost us about $700 to get a new one installed. Yesterday it was 85 degrees in my house at 6:00 PM, trust me, it didn't make for a comfortable nights sleep, well, a nights tossing and turning and sweating, not sleep.
I don't think I mentioned to my blog-hood that I no longer have horses. Actually, I know I didn't. It has been pretty painful, but necessary. Since Tad has been gone, my heart just hasn't been in it and the horses have suffered for that. I found a great home for them, Nina gets an apple every day and Jenny gets to eat to her hearts content, not that she didn't before, but she hasn't suffered for the move :)
As the horses left, I stood in my driveway and cried like I haven't since we lost Tad. Kevin, my 18 year old, came out and hugged me till I stopped. But, the horses and I are much happier this way, I don't have to feel guilty about not working with them and they aren't rotting away in their pens.
It may sound silly, but I think this is all a part of my moving on, and as a continuation of that, yesterday I sold all my horse panels and a couple water troughs. We are going to go buy sheep-friendly troughs and other equipment that we have been needing.
The scarf is almost done, I have all the panels done up, but I am out of yarn and I still have to do the border and the fringe. I guess I am going to have to try to duplicate (HA!) that dye job (HA!) which shouldn't be too hard (HA!).... yeah, so I'm trying to fool my self into believing I can do it again, we all have delusions, I choose this as my most recent one. I should be able to get it done this weekend and we shall see, yes we shall...... Pictures to come!
Speaking of this weekend, Jari is going to show Angel, the hampshire ewe (so dubbed by the next door neighbors granddaughter) at the FFA/4-H show and sale in Elko on Friday! She is pretty jazzed about it, Angel is a good looking ewe but Jari has never been to this show before and we aren't sure what to expect. Please keep her in your thoughts and cross your fingers for her. I think she is going to do great!
On another note, my central air/heat system is outta whack. The coil is plugged with bug dust (not sure if anyone outside of Nevada knows what that is :) and it will cost us about $700 to get a new one installed. Yesterday it was 85 degrees in my house at 6:00 PM, trust me, it didn't make for a comfortable nights sleep, well, a nights tossing and turning and sweating, not sleep.
I don't think I mentioned to my blog-hood that I no longer have horses. Actually, I know I didn't. It has been pretty painful, but necessary. Since Tad has been gone, my heart just hasn't been in it and the horses have suffered for that. I found a great home for them, Nina gets an apple every day and Jenny gets to eat to her hearts content, not that she didn't before, but she hasn't suffered for the move :)
As the horses left, I stood in my driveway and cried like I haven't since we lost Tad. Kevin, my 18 year old, came out and hugged me till I stopped. But, the horses and I are much happier this way, I don't have to feel guilty about not working with them and they aren't rotting away in their pens.
It may sound silly, but I think this is all a part of my moving on, and as a continuation of that, yesterday I sold all my horse panels and a couple water troughs. We are going to go buy sheep-friendly troughs and other equipment that we have been needing.
The scarf is almost done, I have all the panels done up, but I am out of yarn and I still have to do the border and the fringe. I guess I am going to have to try to duplicate (HA!) that dye job (HA!) which shouldn't be too hard (HA!).... yeah, so I'm trying to fool my self into believing I can do it again, we all have delusions, I choose this as my most recent one. I should be able to get it done this weekend and we shall see, yes we shall...... Pictures to come!
Speaking of this weekend, Jari is going to show Angel, the hampshire ewe (so dubbed by the next door neighbors granddaughter) at the FFA/4-H show and sale in Elko on Friday! She is pretty jazzed about it, Angel is a good looking ewe but Jari has never been to this show before and we aren't sure what to expect. Please keep her in your thoughts and cross your fingers for her. I think she is going to do great!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Not what I intended, but....
I have had a dye bug going on the last couple of weeks, it has been getting stronger and stronger as the days have gone by until finally, yesterday I picked up a 'Crochet' magazine at the Book Store in Elko and saw this pattern...
It is done in Tunisian Crochet, a method which is a cross between crochet and knitting, it doesn't use quite as much material as crochet does, but the finished product is usually pretty thick and heavy. It is like crochet in the fact that you use a hooked needle, double ended and usually very long (see last picture), but like knitting in the fact that you don't turn your work.
...the colors on the 'top', or the side the was on top when I applied the dyes, are distinctive and bright, while on the 'bottom', they are muddled and muted. How do you all avoid doing this??
Anyway, it turned out alright after I dried and re-skeined it. Not as blue as I had wanted but I am learning.
This is the beginning of the scarf. Tunisian crochet tends to curl a bit...actually a lot usually, but it isn't too bad in this case because it is a lace pattern.
It is done in Tunisian Crochet, a method which is a cross between crochet and knitting, it doesn't use quite as much material as crochet does, but the finished product is usually pretty thick and heavy. It is like crochet in the fact that you use a hooked needle, double ended and usually very long (see last picture), but like knitting in the fact that you don't turn your work.I don't remember if I mentioned it, and I don't want to go back and look just now, the Carson Sierra Spinners and Weavers Guild have asked me to teach them about tunis sheep and what they are good for. I have someone weaving a sample, another knitting a sample, hopefully Mim has found the time to try to felt some, and I am to make something crocheted and something Tunisian crocheted, all with tunis wool.
I decided this scarf is what I am going to make to represent Tunisian crochet.
I loved the colors so I let the dye bug out and got busy! I got my saved clean clamato bottles out (they work really great btw), my dyes and pot, the saran wrap and news paper, and finally the skein of tunis yarn I posted about on the 27th of June. I have never mixed concentrated dyes before so this whole day was about trial and error (quite a few of the later). After the ten minute fight with the saran wrap, I started applying the dyes; I used Cushings Acid Dyes, Baby Blue, Nile Green, Buttercup Yellow, and a bit of mixed reds, then steamed it for about 10 mins. I like the soft pastels of the scarf in the magazine, and I was hoping if I didn't leave it in too long it wouldn't dye so hard, it didn't really work that way...
Well as you can see by the after picture (I always forget to take pictures 'during'!), it didn't quite turn out like I envisioned. It is way greener than I intended and if you look at the next picture...
...the colors on the 'top', or the side the was on top when I applied the dyes, are distinctive and bright, while on the 'bottom', they are muddled and muted. How do you all avoid doing this??
Anyway, it turned out alright after I dried and re-skeined it. Not as blue as I had wanted but I am learning.
This is the beginning of the scarf. Tunisian crochet tends to curl a bit...actually a lot usually, but it isn't too bad in this case because it is a lace pattern.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
HAPPAY 5th of JULY!!
OK, so I was busy yesterday. We have bunches of family in town from California, and we were busy busy all day! HAPPY 4th of JULY!!
I wanted to share with you all a short but I thought interesting story;
While watching fireworks last night, I was asked by my 13 yr old nephew why we light fireworks on the 4th of July. I explained it to him and he was pleasantly suprised! Whodathunk that we did all that for a reason!?!
I guess the fact that he didn't know (and you know that most kids out there don't know what it means) brought home to me how far our country has migrated away from our forefathers original intent, and how comfortable we have all become in our cooshy country.
Why do they not teach this in school? Why aren't our kids taught that the fireworks they enjoy so much every year on this auspicious day have a meaning? And that the meaning is steeped in the blood of our forefathers as they fought for our freedom, just as our sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers are doing today?
And should the Fourth of July be all about yesterday?
I have to admit that I don't know if my own kids know what the Star Spangled Banner is about, but I am going to make a point of asking them.
Huggs and love to you all, and I hope you had a Wonderful 4th of July!
Here is the history behind the Star Spangled Banner and here are the words.
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore dimly seen thro' the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash'd out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand,
Between their lov'd homes and the war's desolation;
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause is just,And this be our motto:
"In God is our trust"And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
I wanted to share with you all a short but I thought interesting story;
While watching fireworks last night, I was asked by my 13 yr old nephew why we light fireworks on the 4th of July. I explained it to him and he was pleasantly suprised! Whodathunk that we did all that for a reason!?!
I guess the fact that he didn't know (and you know that most kids out there don't know what it means) brought home to me how far our country has migrated away from our forefathers original intent, and how comfortable we have all become in our cooshy country.
Why do they not teach this in school? Why aren't our kids taught that the fireworks they enjoy so much every year on this auspicious day have a meaning? And that the meaning is steeped in the blood of our forefathers as they fought for our freedom, just as our sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers are doing today?
And should the Fourth of July be all about yesterday?
I have to admit that I don't know if my own kids know what the Star Spangled Banner is about, but I am going to make a point of asking them.
Huggs and love to you all, and I hope you had a Wonderful 4th of July!
Here is the history behind the Star Spangled Banner and here are the words.
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore dimly seen thro' the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash'd out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand,
Between their lov'd homes and the war's desolation;
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause is just,And this be our motto:
"In God is our trust"And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Calling Barbara C.!!!
Do you all remember back on March 12th I posted about a plant I couldn't identify?
Barbara C. guessed it right, I thought that it was Sweet Williams, but my brain was cramping or something... So, Barbara, if you are out there, I owe you some tunis wool! Email me! The link in Barbara's post is a dead end, if anyone knows who she is, please let me know... or let her know or something!
disclaimer; no this isnt a picture of my weed - uh, flower bed. Some very nice website somewhere donated it...
Barbara C. guessed it right, I thought that it was Sweet Williams, but my brain was cramping or something... So, Barbara, if you are out there, I owe you some tunis wool! Email me! The link in Barbara's post is a dead end, if anyone knows who she is, please let me know... or let her know or something!
disclaimer; no this isnt a picture of my weed - uh, flower bed. Some very nice website somewhere donated it...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Changes in Attitude
Most of the visitors to this blog know by now that my oldest son was killed 3 years ago in a work related accident. I know I'm not the only one to have lost, although in the throws of grief, that doesn't matter much. I have been through all the stages, the denial, the guilt, the anger... and finally, acceptance.
The only thing I have kept track of in the last three years are my two younger kids (now 18 and 16) and my husband. My bills, my house, sometimes (most times) my self have been neglected. If you haven't lost a child, it is akin to walking through sludge; every day is a chore; to get out of bed, to face the day and its challenges. Because it is so difficult just to make yourself get dressed, dusting is just out of the question.
I was in Barns and Noble one day, and found myself in front of the Bereavement section. There was a book there by a woman who had lost her son at the same age as I had lost mine, 20. She talked about going for almost five years before she woke up one morning and realized the sun was a bit brighter, she was a little more eager to get on with her day and felt a new (if not vaguely familiar) urge to do something productive. The sludge around her was thinning.
I have had my quickening I think. I have begun to think about things in a less negative light, like I now know that I WILL be able to manage my bills again! I WILL be able to keep my house clean again!! And I WILL FIT INTO THAT SIZE 12 AGAIN!!! I would hope for a size 8, but lets be realistic ;-)
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with all of you, it is just another baby step.
The only thing I have kept track of in the last three years are my two younger kids (now 18 and 16) and my husband. My bills, my house, sometimes (most times) my self have been neglected. If you haven't lost a child, it is akin to walking through sludge; every day is a chore; to get out of bed, to face the day and its challenges. Because it is so difficult just to make yourself get dressed, dusting is just out of the question.
I was in Barns and Noble one day, and found myself in front of the Bereavement section. There was a book there by a woman who had lost her son at the same age as I had lost mine, 20. She talked about going for almost five years before she woke up one morning and realized the sun was a bit brighter, she was a little more eager to get on with her day and felt a new (if not vaguely familiar) urge to do something productive. The sludge around her was thinning.
I have had my quickening I think. I have begun to think about things in a less negative light, like I now know that I WILL be able to manage my bills again! I WILL be able to keep my house clean again!! And I WILL FIT INTO THAT SIZE 12 AGAIN!!! I would hope for a size 8, but lets be realistic ;-)
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with all of you, it is just another baby step.
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