I feel sometimes like I bring my blog followers down with talk of Tad. This is a subject that parents as a whole avoid, it is hard for anyone to hear someone talk of the most painful of losses, because as parents, it is the nightmare of nightmares, the horror story of a lifetime, something better left alone in the darkest corners of the deepest part of the night.
I share here because it is easier to type than it is to talk, and I appreciate all of your good wishes and sympathies more than any of you know.
So here it is, 3 years to the day after the accident that took my first born's life. As I have said in earlier posts, it is getting a bit easier to deal with everyday mundane matters that mean absolutely nothing to me now. Necessity causes me to deal with them; things like paying bills, power (I notice I haven't paid it when my power goes off), satellite tv (my hubby informs me when the service stops), garbage (they hang a red tag from the can), and other little things that slip past me seemingly monthly. Yes I keep a list, and I work on it often, my brain just doesn't seem to care.
We are going to go to the cemetery today, something I guess I don't do enough. I have always been of the mind that the person I loved isn't there, why should I go to such a dreary place to visit them? Not sure what the answer to that is, but I am always working on it.
Thanks for being here :)