I know I will survive.
I know this is what he wants to do to start his life and I am happy that he is taking the initiative to do it.
But oh my! It hurts really bad.
Kevin left yesterday to go to boot camp. I will get to hear his voice sometime today, in an emotionless phone call that he will be allowed to make to let us know he is where he is supposed to be and that he will be sending us a post card with his address, company and platoon on it so we can write to him.
It's the whole 'cold turkey' thing that has my stomach in knots and has me either refusing food altogether, or wanting to eat everything in sight.
Its amazing how many times I've thought of him just this morning since I got up, not just stray thoughts that he's gone but... well they are too many to go into. I've spent every day of the last twenty years thinking of his needs and his deeds, only to wake up this morning and find he is really gone.
He has been my baby boy, my comic relief, my helper, my shoulder, my strength, my rock. I miss him.
I keep telling myself its only three months, so I have decided that today I will feel sorry for myself, but tomorrow I will put my big girl panties on and face the day without my Kevin and do it with, if not a smile then at least with no tears.